Happy Vault of Midnight Holidays!

Matthew Cifaldi Uncategorized 0 Comments

Hello fine folk of the world! The holidays have officially arrived which means somewhere right now there are grown adults fighting, scratching, and biting inside a Walmart in order to be first in line for a half priced Nerf Blaster for their kid.  But fear not; there are other options!  I’m here to save you from any unnecessary corporate altercations and let you know about a wonderful local establishment you should definitely check out before Christmas comes and goes, and all that’s left are chunks of poorly dyed hair on the ground in aisle three … If you’re ever in the Ann Arbor area, The Vault Of Midnight on Main St. is an absolute must visit.  This wonderfully diverse establishment …

It’s A Beautiful World

Matthew Cifaldi Uncategorized 0 Comments

Recently I traveled a good chunk of the country in my car (a solo road trip for the soul) and was reminded of just how strange, amazing, and beautiful this world is.  All I had to do was open my eyes, and the visual rewards were endless … I watched a high school kid snort three lines of Sweet N’ Low for $2.00 at a Denny’s in Michigan with his “friends.” At a rest stop in Minnesota I witnessed a self-sufficient, eco-friendly Boston Terrier first do her business, and then promptly eat said business until it was no more. I saw a girl wearing a Buddha shirt walk three full bocks without lifting her head up from her phone. It …

Bum Bum Horoscope — GEMINI (and more …:))

Matthew Cifaldi Uncategorized 0 Comments

Gemini: (May 21st to June 20th) Somewhere in the universe is your Gemini doppelganger, and this month they will have a strong impact on your physical health.  Pay close attention to aches and pains for there is a distinct possibility that this “other you” just got smacked in the face for offending an old lady at the grocery store, consequently leaving you to feel the transferred effects of her old and callused hand.  Due to the leering position of the moon, however, this geriatric spanking may turn out to be quite enjoyable.  As a result, listen carefully to the beating of your heart when passing old folk homes, and find your balance in knitting, Twinkies, stamp collecting, and Harold and …

WIN A FREE BOOK AND ORIGINAL ART!!

Matthew Cifaldi Uncategorized 5 Comments

Holy moly! Win a free book AND original art by Santiago Elizalde, illustrator of Do You Want To Play With My Balls?!? As a celebration of laughter over negativity (something this world is very much in need of these days) we’re running an “Enter-To-Win” opportunity where all you have to do is post a wonderful, fun-loving, joyful review of our book, send us a message either here or on Facebook so that we can match your name with the review, and you’ll be entered in our drawing to win … an AWESOME COPY of Do You Want To Play With My Balls? and ORIGINAL ART from illustrator Santiago Elizalde! This is a great opportunity to score some amazing Bum Bum …

WELCOME TO OUR NEW SITE!

Matthew Cifaldi Uncategorized 5 Comments

Hello all, It feels good to be spring (which means in Michigan we can finally breathe without our nose hairs freezing off) and it feels even better to be able to launch our new and improved website! The most notable improvement (upon your request) is on the price of shipping. We are now capable of charging variable shipping costs rather than a standard rate, which means when ordering multiple books the rate will be adjusted to the lowest cost possible … You’ll save so much money when you order multiple copies of Do You Want To Play With My Balls? that you’ll have no choice but to buy a book for every friend and family member in your life so …